Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
