just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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