it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
