Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize