I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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