I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
