You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
