I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
