In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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