He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize