that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
