Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize