i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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