How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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