Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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