How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize