i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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