Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
