I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
