grandma shit on top of the toilet
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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