Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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