It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
