Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
