toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
