Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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