Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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