a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
