Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
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He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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