you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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