Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
