yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
