need another drink. this is the easiest way
I accidentally had phone sex last night
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
