you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
