I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
