we're blogging at a bar
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
