it wasn't lemon gatorade
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize