guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
bring money and cleavage
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
