thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
