3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
