At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
