she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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