If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize