Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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