so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
