nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize