So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
