I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
