if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
