Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
