I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
