I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
