I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
