also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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