why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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