I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They took my balls.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
