Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize