Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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