i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
