Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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