Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
And then he peed in my hair
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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