last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
