so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
