hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
