I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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