It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
