The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
